It's just too much damned work and I, for one, would rather spend my time swimming or devoting myself to a great job or starting a family rather than processing and debugging a complex relationship arrangement for the rest of my life.

For a long time I tried to be in monogamous relationships, especially after early attempts to negotiate open relationships failed, because they felt like the only option available to me. When I learned that 'poly' was a thing and that I wasn't alone — and didn't have to be some kind of bohemian genius to make things work — it was a tremendous relief."Poly feels like it's really central to who I am, and it's tightly interwoven with other aspects of my identity.

Poly for me is strongly tied to the importance I place on individual autonomy in the context of healthy communities. But, it's also unavoidable."There are a heap of benefits.

The reality is that time is finite, and energy is finite, and babies and cultural markers of commitment (from marriage to words like "partner") are finite.

I have yet to see anyone truly carry on a polyamorous relationship that hasn't disintegrated into drama or been reduced down to a monogamous partnership over time.

She also has other relationships, including a serious boyfriend who lives in the United States, and both her live-in partner and life partner have other relationships as well."Monogamy has never made sense to me, at least as a relationship structure (although I know it works well for other people).

Emotionally, it makes no sense to me to think that my love for one person diminishes my ability to love others.

I believe my reaction was something along the lines of "Yahtzee! Love does not need to be limited, and it's possible to love more than one person at the same time.

It was never the concept I had issues with, rather it was the often tragic implementation of it.

Hierarchical poly practitioners often negotiate strict rules of contact to ensure there are no boundary transgressions — such as loving a secondary partner more than feels acceptable to the primary partner.