My father has many positive traits: he is intelligent, hardworking, and caring, but he is socially awkward does not stand up for himself.He is what red pillers call “beta” and earlier generations of men called “pussy whipped.” My siblings and I grew up in this dysfunctional household without a solid model for how men (or women) act in healthy relationships.You may have noticed over the years that I cover a lot of topics that don’t seem to fit squarely in this blog’s mission statement of helping nerds date better.

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In some ways red pill did make him more attractive.

He started exercising, eating better, improving his style and hygiene, expanding his social circle, and actually asking girls out.

Many people recognize that this mindset is very dangerous, but all criticism from women and feminist men only makes fun of their more extreme points rather than offering an alternative to men and boys that are frustrated.

I ask because I want something to offer men my age and younger when they say acting “alpha” is their only way to get the relationship they want. My parents have a feminist marriage, since my mother is the breadwinner, however my parents are not happy together. Part of this is a fundamental lack of compatibility (they didn’t want to get married but did because of unexpected pregnancy), but it is also because our father allows my mother abuse and manipulate him.

As I’m fond of saying, dating success is 80% attitude and 20% skill, and a of that attitude involves both issues of masculinity and also understanding and empathizing with women.

The people who do best with women are the ones who not only understand them but, critically, don’t view them as opponents, enemies or inferiors.

I mention all of this because one of the things I’m always pushing against are the toxic philosophies that so often masquerade as dating advice.

The Pick-Up community, for example, be of use to men wanting to do better at dating, in theory…

However, he became a massive asshole in the process.

He believed wholeheartedly in the “alpha fux/beta bux” model” where men who are “beta” will only ever be hated and used by women, a model which our parents seem to fit.

Some their “dating” advice is basically descriptions of abusive relationships.