Here’s how you can participate: We hope to help keep the power of the stories in the hands of those they belong to. It is our hope that these stories will not only give comfort to those who have felt like they are alone, but will also spur Joshua Harris on to further and more humble reflection on his contributions to purity culture—reflection that does not come at the cost of those most harmed by his teachings. Add a link to your own #IKDGstories blog post, podcast, or video.

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By giving Harris permission to share these stories, they are being licensed to him for use in whatever way he sees fit—in whole in or in part, censored or uncensored, in service of whatever conclusions he comes to about the impact of his work.

But the reality is that the impact of his work is not his to decide.

Honest and practical, it challenges cultural assumptions about relationships and provides solid, biblical alternatives to society’s norm.

While we think that actually taking the time to listen is a good start for Harris, many of us are deeply uncomfortable with his chosen format.

And so I’m hearing these different voices saying, here’s how your book was used against me, here’s how it was forced on me, or here’s how I tried to – no one forced it on me, but I tried to apply it and it had this negative consequence in different ways.

I’m trying to go back and really evaluate, you know, where did my book contribute to that? And where was that me and what I was writing, and where was that – the families and the church cultures and so on? After reading his apology two months ago to several bloggers who have, like me, spent years blogging against the problems caused by the purity teachings promoted by Harris and others, I started listening with some optimism.I was seriously, MARTIN: Joshua Harris has been reflecting a lot on the impact of his book.I think, though, that it’s really easy for Christians to take truths from God’s word and principles and then in subtle and sometimes not so subtle ways add extra human regulation onto it.For example, there are clear things in statements in Scripture about our sexuality being expressed within the covenant of marriage.He also wrote that masturbation was sin, period, even in marriage, because sexual pleasure was always and only ever meant to be mutual, between spouses. And it scared the shit out of me and thousands of other evangelical girls. HARRIS: Honestly, I haven’t engaged that process of reading through the whole book and saying, this is what I think about all these different areas. But I think one of the things that I’m changing in my own thinking is I just think people – myself included – it’s so easy to latch on to a formula. You’ll be safe and you’ll be protected and you’ll be whatever. I don’t think that’s the way the life of faith works.