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‘These swings mark my transition between girlhood and womanhood,’ I told her, sombrely. But even now that my sisters are all in their twenties, with four out of five ‘going steady’, I can’t quite bring myself to sit down cheerfully and say, ‘So, you and sex, eh? ‘If you can speak to your siblings about sex, go for it, but if you can’t – and most of us can’t – it’s nothing to worry about, as long as you have someone to get advice, support and information from.
They sleep in the same bedroom, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. When you have five little sisters, you cannot expect them all to take holy orders, or even to say, ‘Sex just doesn’t sound like my thing, not now they’ve invented Candy Crush.’ We were all raised as Roman Catholics – the kind who go to Mass every single Sunday, and are on first name terms with the nuns, so we all felt the presence of sex by its ordered absence.
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It was just sex.’ She also reminded me that as teens, we used to go to the same place for a bikini wax, and the beauty technician would comment on the similarities and differences between our pubes, so if she were to imagine me having sex, the mental horror show was all too easy to conjure up.
Ultimately, I’m glad – I think – that my sisters have all grown into well-adjusted, sexually active adults, and that I think they’ve worked out what, and who, makes them happy. I only want them to have good, happy experiences with kind people, but I know from my own twenties that sex is always going to involve a fair amount of trial and error.
EUGHHHHHHH EUGHHHHHH EUGHHHHHH EUGHHHHHH EUGHHHHHH! I CAN’T even LOOK at you RIGHT NOW.’ Well, over a decade later, I am writing this on the kitchen table in her flat, which she shares with her boyfriend.